200 MONAS.....A MED TO MAKE THE EARTH MOVE FOR YOU......ALL BY YOURSELF....(*****)

 200 Monas by Jan Saenz (2026)

     What a wild, laugh-out-loud blast to read. Explosively funny, well armed with wit sharp enough to draw blood and two memorable lead characters thrown into enough raunchy adventures to fill a dozen extra-spicy romcoms.

     Bio Chemistry major Arvy Keening's only a few finals away from graduation and on to a Big Pharma internship and a future to bright, she's gotta wear shades...........except her grieving process for her recently passed unconventional mom has left her attached to the urn with mom's ashes like a security blanket.

     Major troubles befall Arvy upon her discovery of a stash of pills left over from mom's part time   dabbling as a drug dealer. Worse than that......the arrival of two seriously creepy professional drug dealers right out of 'The Addams Family'" and 'Pulp Fiction' and from whom her mom got the 200 pills. Not Molly, as Arvy first thought, but 'Mona' with each pill promising a mind blowing, earth-moving orgasm. And Arvy's been given 2 days to sell 10,000 dollars worth of them or the dealers will return to kill her in all manner of slow, unspeakable ways.

     In desperation, Arvy's compelled to join forces with Wolf, the campus's resident, smokin' hot drug dealer to peddle the Monas and from that point on, the book's a mad, mad mapcap series of riotous misadventures and crazy confrontations........not to mention dangerously stratospheric orgasms at the worst possible times and worst possible places.

     I had the best time reading this one and amid all the chaos, author Jan Saenz casts a knowing, satiric eye on romance, sex, grief, female empowerment, the obsession with virginity and the scourge of Big Pharma. I'd recommend it right away, because there's no telling if the inevitable movie made from this loony romp will be anywhere near as entertaining and outrageous.. Read the book first.

      5 aroused stars (*****).

'TURN OFF THE LIGHT'......A CURSED HAUNTED HOUSE....IN THE 17TH AND 21ST CENTURIES......(****).

Turn Off the Light by Jacquie Walters (2026)

     Quite a clever, intricately constructed haunted house novel........where things that go bump in the night cut right through the fabric of space and time itself......across the gulf of over 400 years to go "boo!" in the same cursed, bedeviled house.

     On the Eastern Shore of 17th century Virginia, Edith, a young wife of hardworking famer David Harris, generates, through no fault of her own, fears and suspicions of witchcraft. . She's a dedicated skilled herbalist, using plants and such to fashion healing, natural remedies for whatever might ail her neighbors. But her benevolent talents foster vicious gossip that her powers are supernatural and surely the work of the devil. Speaking of the devil, Edith's lately been tormented by all sorts of paranormal phenomena throughout her house......as if there's something in the house with her.....watching her.....maybe even manhandling her.

     Centuries later in the very same house, single mom Claire has returned to her childhood home with her four year old daughter Julia. She's come to help her sister Tilly and brother in law Peter with the care of her and Tilly's father. Their dad's in the final stages of dementia with only a matter of a few days left until he passes. And it seems that every spooky, scary, unexplainable incident that terrified Edith all those centuries ago has come back to haunt Claire.....but why?

     As these two parallel timelines exist in the book in alternating chapters, the growing suspense and horror start to multiply in both centuries leading up to a truly staggering twist.......and puts both Edith and Claire directly in the path of evil......and death.

     The 17th century sequences are so rich in atmosphere and steeped in heartbreak, I think readers will find themselves gravitating to them more than the modern day scenes. To be honest, Edith's a much more sympathetic and finely conceived character than Claire, with the odds way more stacked against her., given the general ignorance of the era.

     But once the twists, jump scares and some startling violent surprises slam into you, the book then keeps you equally riveted to what's going on in both the 17th and 21st centuries.

     Best read on a dark, stormy night, with all the lights turned off except the one trained on the book......that one light you WON'T want to turn off until you've finished the last page.

      4 stars (****).